Barack Obama provided an unusually candid insight into his marriage with Michelle Obama during a recent event at Hamilton College in New York. The former president, now 63, discussed various subjects, including national policy and global trade, but it was his honest commentary on their long-standing relationship that truly resonated with the audience.
“I was in a deep deficit with my wife,”
Obama admitted during a dialogue with College President Steven Tepper.
“I have been trying to dig myself out of that hole by occasionally doing fun things.”
This rare acknowledgment highlighted what many have long suspected: the eight years spent in the White House, along with decades of public service, came with personal sacrifices—particularly for a marriage often viewed as a model for others. Barack and Michelle Obama, married since 1992, have frequently shared insights about their connection while also being refreshingly transparent about its difficulties. Michelle, in particular, has openly discussed the pressures that politics and public life have placed on their relationship.
On her podcast, Michelle humorously recounted one of her husband’s habits that used to frustrate her—his relaxed attitude towards timekeeping, which she attributed to his laid-back Hawaiian upbringing.
“Barack had to learn what ‘on time’ meant for me,”
she remarked, referring to his tendency to operate on “island time.”
She explained that he would often start getting ready only at the moment they were supposed to leave.
“I have this husband who, when it’s time to go at 3, is just getting up to use the bathroom,”
she said with a laugh. “I told him, a 3 o’clock departure means you should have everything ready… Don’t start searching for your glasses at 3!”
Over the years, however, Barack appears to have made adjustments. Michelle has noted that he has improved his punctuality, which is certainly beneficial, especially with their daughters, Malia and Sasha, in the picture.It is important to note that this laid-back demeanor accompanied Obama into the Oval Office. A 2014 report from The Washington Post indicated that he experienced over 35 hours of delays during scheduled public appearances, highlighting that ingrained habits can be difficult to change, even for those in the highest positions of authority.
Currently, the former president is said to be working on the second volume of his presidential memoirs, following the publication of A Promised Land. However, it is evident that his focus extends beyond literary and political pursuits. At home, he appears to be prioritizing a more personal endeavor: restoring balance in his private life and nurturing his relationship with Michelle.
Through considerate actions and shared moments of laughter over past challenges, Barack Obama seems dedicated to avoiding the “deficit” he has openly recognized—a reminder that even the most esteemed relationships require continuous effort, humility, and a touch of humor.
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